being alone and security

i decided to fake a smile, for i want them to not worry too much about me.
i decided to be happy, for i don't want them to be sad just because i'm sad.
i decided to have space and time, for i want to be alone.
i hate to be surrounded by people, for the first time, i feel not safe.
only being alone will make me secure.
i wanna be together only with myself.
please, let me.