perks of ani

I wanna be alone. Only being alone can cure me now.

It's not a pain anymore. It doesn't hurt me like months ago. When I breathe, it's not stuffy anymore. My heart doesn't skip a beat anymore. I can control myself now. But I don't know why my tears still flow. Maybe a hole in my heart is still not fixed. Somewhere in my heart still bleeds. And it's a secret I wish I could keep just to myself until I forget him completely.

dear, for a second, I forgot that you were the one who broke my heart. for a second, I forgot that you were the one who made me shed tears. for a second, I forgot that you were the pain I keep thinking every night before I sleep. most of the times I only think of you as a fate I want to possess, like it's a beautiful dream. so wrong of me, I know.

why does my heart keep telling me that we still have a chance?

Dear, is it possible that there's a space in your heart still longing for my presence? is it possible that you still want me now, like I want you to be on my side now. I want to be yours, near you, devote to you.

I bet you think I either moved on or hate you 'Cause each time you reach out there's no reply. I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say "Hello" to you And risk another goodbye. And I just wanna tell you It takes everything in me not to call you. And I wish I could run to you. And I hope you know that every time I don't I almost do, I almost do. - Taylor Swift. I Almost Do

There were times when I cried a lot about you. Times when I can't sleep well. Times when only songs or random sounds helped me fell asleep. Times when even I wake up felt like nightmare. Times when I only wanted to be alone, all by myself inside four walls and a roof. Times when I mourned. There were those times. But hey, I'm now healed. I'm fully healed. I realized that forgiving others needs to start with forgiving myself first. Because I deserved peace before finding myself again. Our paths just crossed and didn't mean to be forever. It's just simply a life path. As simple as it. Period.